You know, I've become so fed up with my life that it's gotten to the point where I have a hard time getting out of bed in the morning because there's absolutely nothing at all for me to look forward to. I can't help feeling this way, and today just added on to the big heap of things that screw up my life. I was looking forward to today's youth group meeting all week long, counting down since last Sunday, and it turns out that my dad's not going to take me because he has other, apparently more important, things to do. He has other priorities. Oh, and I can't go next week either because my dad planned for us to go to Lake George, as if we haven't went there enough. It's a total bore of a place, and I really don't want to go there. Anyway, he knows that these weekly youth group meetings mean a lot to me, considering I never, ever get the chance to talk to Muslim people around my age, or any age for that matter. Only once a while, and even that is rare. I have no Muslim friends. When these youth group meetings started up, I was excited that for once my parents had no objections to taking my brother and I to New York just to spend time with our Muslim brothers and sisters. I really felt as if I belonged there, and that no other setting could substitute it. My imaan had taken a leap and I could just feel the difference inside of myself, and it felt good. Better than anything else I've felt. Even that has now been taken away. He suggested I go to the mall instead, as if he didn't know that I hate the mall. My dad always does this. He lets us participate in something and then makes us withdraw from it, and the fact that this little something was what strengthened my imaan holds no value to him. He really couldn't care less.